I would like to share with permission the following from a reluctant wife turn loving strict keyholder. She contacted me and wanted to share her story and to say that she was happy to see some information posted that is written on this blog….if only she had it as a resource. She wanted to add in her story to show how her and her husband play.
My husband of many years approached me about chastity a few years ago and honestly I was shocked and was wondering why the hell he would want this and why did he not want to have sex with me. Those were my initial thoughts. One thing he told me that really got me to consider being his keyholder was when he told me that I will reap the benefits of it, he will be more involved in me and family life and that we will both be benefactors of me being mean to him and allowing me to use him as an outlet of frustration. He told me this in his own words and I was very skeptical, especially the last one. Eventually I agreed. I had no idea what I was doing, but I played along. He gave me ideas and told me what I could do along the way. I teased him by caressing his body, biting his ear, playing with is device and some heavy kissing sessions. I would sometimes take him out of his device and play with him. I would stroke him, play with his balls. I would even go down on him and lick him, but not let him orgasm. I felt bad, but he said he enjoyed it and it was what he wanted. He would pleasure me orally and gave me good orgasms, but I wanted sex. We did and he had a fairly intense orgasm, but for about the next ten days he was in his own little world. I was mad, I told him if he doesn’t shape up I’m not playing his stupid game. He explained the difference between a male and female orgasm and it kind of made sense. The next round we went longer. He pleasured me with his mouth and fingers and he was getting better and I was having good orgasms, but I wanted sex. We had sex, he had an intense orgasm and then he went MIA for about eight days. I realized then that I never orgasmed or “enjoyed” the sex. Yes it helped me feel closer and more intimate with my husband but I didn’t get to enjoy it.
Before this foray into chastity, my husband and I had a “normal” sex life filled with up and downs. I didn’t orgasm very often from sex, not sure why but it isn’t like my husband is small or didn’t know what he was doing. He was good, but I never got sexual pleasure from sex I just enjoyed the intimacy, plus my husband was always willing to take care of me or I would take care of myself at another time. I know it may sound bad, but it wasn’t at all. I enjoyed our sex life but wish it was more active but with kids and busy with work we would squeak it in when we could.
Back to my original thought, so I was thinking that not giving him an orgasm by teasing and denying him was what he liked and when we had sex he orgasmed and I didn’t then he was basically MIA for a while. How could I change this pattern? I actually came up with my idea when I was masturbating with a dildo. If I use a vibrating fake penis to pleasure myself, then I can give one to my husband. I stopped mid-masturbation and looked up on the internet to see what I could find. Find did I and that is a whole other story. I found three items that I thought might work. It was a little pricy, but I did it in the name of science and my benefit. I ordered a strap-on, a penis sleeve and a “clone-a-willy” kit. I used the “clone-a-willy” kit to make a fake penis of his and would use it from my pleasure would tease him how he had sex with me.
After a few more weeks, I told my husband that I wanted sex, but it was going to be a little different. I really wanted to try the penis sleeve. I laid him down and tied his hands above his head and blindfolded him. I took off his device and slipped on the sleeve. It was a little difficult because I didn’t want to hurt him, but it was successful. I took off his blindfold and showed him what he was donning. I straddled him and slipped his now encased penis into me and started to ride him. He told me couldn’t feel a thing so I untied him from the bed post and flipped over on my back missionary and made him have sex with me. I teased him a little bit and asked him to be a little rough enticing him to try and make himself orgasm, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t get off and I was enjoying every minute of it both sexually and sadistically. We probably had sex for about an hour and it was the most enjoyable sexual time of my life. We tried many positions and different aggressiveness from slow and gentle to hard and fast and everything in between. After I finally got an orgasm from it, we were both physically spent. I had a fantastic orgasm and I’ve never seen my husband so frustrated, yet so content in my life. When we finally decided to get up, I took off the sleeve and stuffed him back in his chastity device. What was even better, the next ten days he was so attentive and we had sex that way a few times and he pleasured me orally several times. I don’t remember having that many orgasms in one week ever. We tried a strap-on too and it was just as enjoyable. One difference was that I kept him in chastity we the strap-on and I could feel his device hit me everytime he thrust. At first it was annoying, but after a while it was almost funny cause he was trapped inside unable to get hard and here he was having sex with me, so ironic. We have sex often this way because, while I enjoy orgasms from him performing oral on me, I feel the orgasms are better when we are having sex.
After that experiment, things started to change. I felt more confident and started to be more domineering in and out of the bedroom, just not overtly outside the bedroom. I decided to see how far I could push him without letting him have an orgasm, but at the same time I set myself goals of one week at a time because I did feel bad that he was so frustrated, but he kept telling me he was enjoying it and was happy. I ended up not allowing him to orgasm for about four months. He was so frustrated and horny he couldn’t touch me without being driven wild with desire and frustration. I started to tease him more and tried to make him as frustrated as I could. As I pushed him, he pushed back a little bit and I told him that he needed to be punished. Other than a spanking I couldn’t think of anything else so I did that. He “enjoyed” it, but it wasn’t his favorite. I then remembered something I read; it had said that strap-ons had recently increased in sales amongst couples and surveys had shown that heterosexual couples were engaging in strap-on sex where the woman would “peg” her spouse. Pegging involved the wife donning the strap-on and having sex with her husband in his ass. I didn’t think my husband would go for it so I did a little test on him to see how he reacted. I decided to take him out of his device and tease him really good. I kissed him all over and would lick and suck on him, marking him with little hickey’s. I got down to his penis and would litely suck on him and play with his balls. I put him in my mouth and played with is balls and started to explore the area between his balls and his butt and he didn’t object. I went a little further keeping him on edge and started to rub around his butt hole and still no objection. I got up and got some lube and applied to to his penis and did slow long strokes and applied a generous amount of lube and rubbed it around his balls and then started exploring again and he got a little squirmy, but I think he was so sexually frustrated from all the teasing. I went to his butt hole and applied some pressure and my finger slow started to sink in and when I fully penetrated him with my finger he let out a moan. I didn’t do much just moved my finger a little bit and continued to tease him and after a few minutes I stopped and made him get back in his device. I decided to make my move next time we were intimate together. It didn’t take long. I told him I had a surprise for him and I tied his hands to the bed post and went into the bathroom to put on the strap-on. I came out wearing it. He laughed and said that I looked ironically sexy wearing it. I walked over to him and leaned in close and whispered in his ear that I will be wearing it tonight. I thought his eyeballs were going to pop out of his head. I then told him that he had been a bad boy and wasn’t listening to me and this was his punishment. I crawled on the bed and got in between his legs, he had a look of apprehension on his face with maybe a little anticipation. I applied lots of lube and crawled over him and slowly started to penetrate him missionary style. His face was priceless as he started to adjust to the invading phallus. I pushed until I was completely inside of him and asked to see if he was okay. He said yes and told me that it was a different feeling, but was somewhat pleasurable. When you peg your man, it can apply pressure to his prostate which is a contributor to semen and ejaculation. I slowly built up speed and it was a different experience doing the penetrating. It was intoxicating and I had a feeling that I would want to do it more often whether he wanted it or not. That’s the benefit of being his keyholder and his submission to me. Sometimes I would really make it feel like punishment by making him get on his hands and knees and handcuff his hands and have my way with him, like I’m the man and he is the woman. It is such a powerful feeling. I’ve even made him suck on the strap-on, he knows he was really bad when that happens. I’ve made him orgasm while pegging him while he was locked in chastity. He said it was a different experience; he had a feeling of release but he felt no after effects that he normally felt when he would from sex or normal stimulation. He sometimes felt more horny and frustrated, especially when I would continue to try to stimulate him as mush as I could. I’ve also had an orgasm from pegging him. I would get pressure on my vagina and strap-on would rub me or stimulate me the right way. I would suggest to be careful and talk about it. He takes my strap-on every once in a while and he gets some enjoyment out of it, partly because I enjoy it and sometimes it stimulates his prostate and can some release from it.
One thing that I implemented was one time per year, he could take off his device and have as much sex or intimacy he wanted and I couldn’t deny him what he wanted unless there was a really good reason. I called it, “I’m your slut week.” I know this my sound degrading, but I wanted him to feel that I’m his to enjoy. I could pick however long I wanted to allow it any where from three to ten days. He would not know how long, I would just let him know that starting a certain or staring today is his week of freedom and sex. The first time all he wanted to do was have intercourse like two times per day. It was fun but tiring, but I gave him the entire seven days. The next time, I purposely did it when I was on my period and to my chagrin, we had sex twice in five days. He volunteered to lock himself back up. He later told me that it wasn’t necessarily the blood or the ugliness of it, but my emotions and my “moodiness” were not allowing me to let him have fun with me. I agreed, but I also punished him for not taking advantage of me, for ending it early on his terms and not mine and for calling me moody. I punished him for just for fun for calling me moody. The following time, he was super, he didn’t just have sex with me. I think I still got more orgasms then he did that week. The last time I gave him his week was a week in which I knew he was traveling. He was out of town for four of the seven days, but I made it interesting for him. I would send him teasing pictures or texts/sexts and one stipulation I made was that for every time he masturbated, it would add a week of strict chastity. He was locked up without any stimulation for nine weeks. I was relentless about the teasing and drove him nuts, but at the same time he had no self-control. I punished him for that severely as well. I do “I’m your slut week” every once in a while which comes out to be about once a year, maybe a little bit less. I don’t want to do it at the same time every year so he doesn’t know when to expect it.
So, I give my husband ruined orgasms for the most part now instead of full orgasms. About the only time he gets a full orgasm is during “I’m your slut week.” A ruined orgasm is when you are stimulating him and stop stimulation of this penis at the point of no return before his spills over into an orgasm. If you stop stimulation right away he gets very little to no enjoyment from his orgasm, hence it is ruined. Sometimes I do it with sucking him, stroking him and even with sex. If he goes too far and doesn’t let me know, he gets punished and often time I put him in strict chastity for an extended period of time. Ruined orgasms are a way to give him some relief, but without the side affects of him being distance and MIA for a week. It is also quite fun for me because he becomes almost desparate to orgasm and to just ruin it makes him so much more frustrated and on edge.
Our story took quite a while to learn and to understand. It took a few years for everything to take place. I didn’t all happen at once. We were and still are learning and experimenting. Today, my husband is still locked in his chastity device and I have no idea when his last full/enjoyable orgasm was. He knows though, but I know it has been a while. One thing that I have learned through this is you have to just be yourself and both husband and wives, you are doing this for each other. Two have to play and participate in the game. There are times when we don’t have sex or play for a week or two at a time and then there are times when we have fun every night or every other night. You still have to live your life and your job, family, chores, etc. have to get done. I initially thougt this would be a short term thing and as of right now I don’t plan on stopping. My husband and I are as close as ever and my friend’s comment on how I have such a good husband, if they only knew. For my husband and I, this arrangement is good for us. I’m happy because while he is in chastity, I can play with him if I want, I can ignore him (not for too long) and he is fine and not begging or in the bathroom masturbating. It is a fun game and I get what I want that makes me happy. He spends time with me, cuddles me and is a very good helper of chores around the house, including things he usually doesn’t do. As for him, I don’t want to speak for him but I’m giving him what he wants and he is genuinely happy. How do I know? He tells me and he does the things that make me happy. If he isn’t happy then he wouldn’t do those things. He was absolutely right when he said that he would be more involved in family life which he is and that I reap the benefits of the chastity relationship. In addition, he loves it when I’m mean to him, when I push his limits and at times I punish him because I am having a bad day and he loves it. I get to take some frustrations out on him in a way that allows me to blow off some steam and in a way that is enjoyable to him. He told me once that his happiness comes from my happiness, my smile, my laugh, my love and my punishments of him that help me turn from being mad/upset/annoyed/pissed to being in a better mood, whether those negative feelings are at him, my kids or anyone or situation in general.
Thanks for allowing me to share my story MCI —– Anonymous Keyholder
This has been edited and modified with permission and approval from the author.
-MCI, keep ’em locked and have fun!